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Sexual development is a natural and important part of a child’s broader social, emotional and physical growth. As children explore the world around them, they may also begin to explore their bodies, relationships and feelings.

However, sometimes, children’s sexual behaviour goes beyond what we would typically expect and may be developmentally inappropriate and harmful towards themselves or others. We use the term problematic and harmful sexual behaviour (PHSB) to describe these behaviours when they occur.

Problematic and harmful sexual behaviour can sometimes persist despite adults’ attempts to gently redirect the child, set limits or help the child to understand why the behaviour is not okay. They may cause distress – either to the child themselves or to others. They may also start to affect the child’s day-to-day experiences.

When we look at a child’s behaviour, we also need to understand the context in which it occurred – what was going on around them, what they may have been exposed to and what else might be influencing the behaviour.

Taking this broader view helps to understand what might be happening for the child and can help service leaders and educators respond in more thoughtful and supportive ways.

How to identify these behaviours

There are important signs you can look out for when considering whether a behaviour may be typical, problematic or harmful. Ask yourself:

• Is the behaviour continuing or escalating, even after redirection?
• Does it involve younger or more vulnerable children?
• Is it secretive, aggressive or forced in any way?
• Is someone being hurt, scared or confused by what’s happening?
• Is the behaviour way ahead of what we’d expect for that child’s age?
• Has someone else, such as another child, disclosed that the behaviour occurred?

These questions can help you decide whether a behaviour needs additional support or intervention.

Why might a child act this way?

There is usually no single reason why a child might display these behaviours. It can happen for lots of reasons, including:

• They were curious, trying to make sense of the world around them, but they made a mistake because they didn’t understand that it wasn’t okay.
• They’ve seen or been exposed to things they’re not ready for, like pornography or adult sexual behaviour.
• They’re copying behaviour they’ve seen or something that’s happened to them.
• They’re having a hard time managing big feelings like anger, worry or sadness and might not have the words or support to express these in safer ways.
• They haven’t yet learned about personal space or social boundaries such as what’s okay and not okay in relationships with others.
• They’ve been hurt or experienced trauma.
• Sometimes they’re trying to connect with others or feel a sense of control, even if it’s in ways that aren’t safe or okay.

It’s important that adults stay open and responsive. These behaviours often signal that a child needs support, safety and understanding, and a chance to learn and grow.

Practical guidance on preventing and responding to problematic and harmful sexualised behaviour

Children aged under 10 who display problematic and harmful sexual behaviour are still learning about their bodies, relationships and emotions. They need safe, calm adults who can guide them with care and clear boundaries.

Here are some examples of actions service leaders and educators can take to address the risks of and respond when children display problematic and harmful sexual behaviour in their service.

Create safe and supportive environments

For example, by helping children to understand rules about personal space and body privacy, such as:

• “We keep our clothes on at day care/preschool/OOSH.”
• “We don’t touch other people’s private parts.”

Teach all children about bodies, boundaries and respectful relationships in age-appropriate ways

One of the most helpful things educators can do is use simple, accurate language when talking about bodies, such as:

• “Everyone has private parts that belong only to them.”
• “We ask before hugging or touching someone.”
• “When someone says ‘stop’ or ‘no’, we listen straight away.”

You could also use everyday routines to remind children about boundaries. For example, when children are using the bathroom at their ECEC service, you could say: “Just like we want privacy when we’re using the bathroom, we make sure we give other people privacy, too. That means we give them space, and we don’t talk about their bodies or what they’re doing.”

It is important that children feel safe and supported to ask questions about bodies, boundaries and respectful relationships. For example, if a child starts to ask questions, encourage them to tell you more or share what they are thinking. You might say, “That’s a great question, let's talk about this together.”

This helps children to feel heard and respected, opening the door for more conversations.

Notice when children might be struggling and offer support early, before things escalate

For example, if a child starts using sexualised language in class or during play, instead of ignoring it, you could gently check-in with the child and say, “That’s not a word we use – do you know what it means?”

Respond calmly and clearly when behaviours do happen

For example, if you notice a child touching another child in a way that’s problematic or harmful, you could step in calmly, gently describe what you saw and say, “We don’t touch other people’s private parts. That’s not okay and is against our rules here. It can make them feel upset.”

Afterwards, separate the children, offer reassurance to both, let them know they are not in any trouble and that you want to support them.

It is important for all children involved, especially those affected by the behaviour, to feel safe and supported and to access any additional help they might need.

Guiding conversations with children

Not all children will appear affected immediately, as they may not fully understand that what happened was not okay. Some children may not show signs of distress at the time but difficulties could develop later, and changes in behaviour may be an indicator of this. Ongoing observation and support are important.

If a child shows ongoing signs of distress or requires further professional support, service leaders and educators should speak with the child’s family about arranging a referral for counselling. This could include support through a local sexual assault service, the community health centre or by .

Communicating with families

When a child displays problematic and harmful sexual behaviour, it is important to inform parents or carers so they are aware of what has occurred and can actively support their child. It is important to do this in a way that centres care, support and partnership. Open, respectful communication helps to:

• ensure consistent guidance between home and the service
• reinforce boundaries and expectations for the child
• allow families to access additional support or professional advice if needed.

Not all children who display problematic and harmful sexual behaviour will require a referral for counselling. For some, simply learning what is okay and not okay, and offering simple redirection and safe alternatives, may be enough to stop the behaviour.

However, if behaviour continues despite attempts to provide guidance and implement strategies, additional support may be needed. In these cases, speak with the child’s parent or carer about possible referral pathways, such as a consultation or referral to your .

Supporting staff with professional development

Support staff to feel confident and prepared to recognise, prevent and respond to problematic and harmful sexual behaviour by providing training and access to expert advice, such as through Safe Wayz.

ACECQA’s NQF Child Safe Culture Guide includes practical guidance on identifying and responding to .

Services can also download the information sheet for an overview of how to monitor and respond to sexual behaviours displayed by children and young people.

It’s important for educators to know that feeling impacted is natural and accessing support is a positive and encouraged step – particularly if they have their own history of trauma. Staff should be reminded of the wellbeing supports available to them, such as those listed at the beginning of this article.

Reporting and other regulatory obligations

• All ECEC staff in NSW must report problematic or harmful sexual behaviours under , ensuring the safety and wellbeing of children and young people in their care. The will assist educators in making these reports.
• Under of the ����vlog���� and Care Services National Regulations (National Regulations), approved providers are required to have policies and procedures in place for dealing with complaints, including the management of a complaint that alleges a child is exhibiting harmful sexual behaviours.
• requires approved providers to take reasonable steps to ensure service policies and procedures are followed.
• Under of the Children (����vlog���� and Care Services) National Law, an approved provider must notify the NSW Early Learning Commission, as the independent regulator of ECEC in NSW, of any serious incident or complaint of serious incident at the approved ECEC service. Refer to ACECQA’s for further guidance on submitting a making a notification via the .
• From 1 September under , notification timeframes of incidents or allegations of physical or sexual abuse to a child while being educated or cared for by an education and care service will reduce from 7 days to 24 hours. Approved providers must notify the regulator of these incidents or allegations within 24 hours.

Other support and resources

• – families in Western Sydney can access support in responding to problematic and harmful sexual behaviour, including fact sheets, booklets and referrals to professional guidance.
• – training for service leaders and educators on responding to problematic and harmful sexual behaviour.
• – fact sheets, webinars and resources to support service leaders and educators working with children and families.
• – resources for children, families and professionals.